Thinking of my Dad

Isn’t it odd how something as simple as a song can bring a rush of memories back to us.  Including the emotions to go along with it.

I left work the other day and needed to stop at the store on the way home.  A song came on the Christian Rock station, that was played at my Dad’s funeral and a flood of tears immediately filled my eyes.

I recalled sitting in the church for his mass remembering all the memories of growing up in that church with him but I was staring at his casket.

Before this particular church was built, we had mass in the basement of the catholic elementary school I attended.  We sat on metal folding chairs in a room that was used for a variety of things for the school, mostly the gym I think.  There was a church area upstairs that was used for a more formal services, but we usually attended the mass in the basement.

The church that my Dad’s funeral was held was built when I was a very young, maybe 10 years old.  Every Sunday we were there for mass.

Eventually my Dad took over the role of custodian and I helped him clean that church.  Then he started a lawn and landscaping business, I didn’t start working for him until my divorce so then I did the mowing at the church.

When I married, he walked me down that aisle.  He was by my side when my kids were baptized there.

At the conclusion of my Dad’s funeral mass, this particular song played while I walked up the aisle out of the church behind his casket.  My heart shattered as I was remembering him walking me down the aisle to be married and now I was following him out of the church to be buried.

And today is Father’s day so my mind and heart are filled with happy memories of tea parties, building sand castles and a ton of other things.

My heart is heavy with missing him but full of joy with the memories.  I know he is with me every single day.