Gibson: MEOW! MEOW! MEOW! circling my feet trying to trip me “Feed me, feed me, feed me, put my food before me now damn it, feed me!”
Jack: Barking and jumping and wiggly butt “Oh Mom you’re home! I missed you! Can I have a cookie? I am SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!”
GIBSON: I set his food dish down and he takes a nibble of his food and glares at me “you and I need to have a little chat about things around here”
Jack: BARK! He spies the cookie in my hand “Cookie! What do you want? Big speak or little speak? My paw? The other paw? A kiss? Please hurry! I love those cookies you buy for me! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!”
Jack jumps on my lap and proceeds to wiggle and lick my face: “I love you so much, I didn’t think you’d ever get home to me! Can we cuddle for a little?” “You are so beautiful and I love you so much!”
Gibson at my feet: MEOW “where’s MY treat bitch? What gives?, you gave him a damn cookie! MEOW! What about me? I mean really! I do RULE here!!” MEOW “Oh, by the way, a scratch on MY head would be a nice, but just for a second, got it?” MEOW
As I wander to my bedroom to change, Jack follows with energetic enthusiasm: “Mom I am so happy to see you! I was so lonely today without you! Have I told you how beautiful you are? I don’t think I tell you that enough!”
Gibson follows too, meandering at a slow pace: MEOW “Listen, I want fresh food, and I want it NOW. MEOW! The dish you sat before me is leftover from this morning, even though it is that dry crunchy shit you think I like, I do prefer it FRESH from the container. MEOW! NO leftovers for me.” MEOW (said with squinty eyes and sarcasm)
Gibson: MEOW “And another thing, because you left me alone with that annoying little sappy DOG all day, I decided to shit outside my litter box.” MEOW
Jack sitting on my bed watching me with those sad puppy eyes: “I’m really sorry Mom but I did a bad thing today. I had a “cat cookie” that fell out of the “cat-box cookie jar” today. I know you don’t like me to do that but I had absolutely NO self control whatsoever. I swear Gibson puts it on the floor on purpose just to tease me and get me in trouble. I am truly sorry Mom, I will try not to do it again. How about another kiss?”
I pick up Jack from the bed and walk out of the bedroom, Gibson dashes to walk in front of me: walking a slow KISS MY ASS pace.
Gibson wanders over to his dish, gives me a glaring side glance that would make a mouse fall over dead, and begins to eat. After two bites he finds his hiding place naps.
Jack, he’s HAPPILY ready for anything I want to do tonight!