Girlie Wisdom

A friend of mine sent me this last week when I needed a laugh, I have to share!

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… She has 14 kids but doesn’t really care.  ~ I’m not so sure this is a bad thing!

 

2. One of life’s mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs. ~ Yea I can relate to this, thing is, just by looking at it I can gain the weight!

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely. ~More and more everyday…

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes. ~Nope, still there!

       
 5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does. ~ OMG whoever said this lives in MY town!!!!

 

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends. ~and they never argue and end the relationship…

 

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today. ~thus I live in a state of confusion

 

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness. ~ I… never mind

 

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my underwear. ~Hey they don’t call me hot pants for nothing!!! I am sizzling!!

 

10. Amazing!  You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes! ~ Shocking it is

 

11. Skinny people irritate me!  Especially when they say things like…’You know sometimes I forget to eat!’  Really?  I’ve forgotten my address, my mother’s maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat.  You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.   ~aaaa yea right

 

12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him. ~Been there done that, and was stupid enough to do it again…

 

13. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That’s my idea of a perfect day!  AMEN

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