Thoughts I Never Wrote Down…But Someone Else Did…with a few of my own thrown in for good measure…

 This was emailed to me today!  I had to share, and add a few of my own comments (in bold of course)!!

1.  Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.  This never happens to me, feel terrible for the other person though… LOL

 2.  I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.  Oh yea!  I’d kill for a nap in the middle of the afternoon!

3.  There is a great need for a sarcasm font.  Need I say more… (*typed with sarcasm)

 4.  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?  This is next to impossible, I fight with the fitted sheet, it wins.

5. Was learning cursive really necessary? Kinda like algebra, geometry, and trig

6.  MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5.  I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.  LMAO

7.  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.  I admit, I’m nosey!!

8.  I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.  I wake up tired…I don’t know what goes on in my sleep….

9. Bad decisions make good stories. Yea, that you can’t share with your kids!!!!

10.  You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.  Yep, and it starts on Monday morning with my first cup of coffee!

 11.  Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray?  I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.  Amen!

12.  I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.  Refer back to #10,,,Maybe I really was productive and didn’t know it???  Is that from a coffee coma??

13.”Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this……ever.   It means I will take the risk and do what it says NOT to do, just to see if I can…and then I piss myself off because I ruined a perfectly great piece of clothing!!

14.  I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings 9 times and goes to voicemail.  What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?  Yea what is this about people?  You just had the phone in your hand!!!

15.  I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.  What a waste.  It’s a good hair day gone totally bad!!!

16. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 

17.   I think the freezer deserves a light as well.  It would make it easier to find the ice cream!

18. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.  I have absolutely no comment…

19.  Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw.  This is more true with music for me, I always sing the wrong words.

 20.  I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bages in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.  This is why I love the elevator!!! 

21. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. I’m guilty!!!  I’m not coordinated enough to text and drive.  Seriously, texting and driving is not safe.

22. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. Not really true for me, it’s called chocolate and wine.

 23.  How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

24.  I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.  Stay strong, brothers and sister!   Are you freaking serious?  Just let me pass!  Just kidding!!!

25.  Shirts get dirty.  Underwear gets dirty.  Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

26.  Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.  I seriously do this with my phone!!

27.  Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’ll bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!   So true!!

28. My check engine light has been on for three months now and nothing’s happened. I’m starting to think that my car is just an attention whore. 

29. I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.”  Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter? 

 30.  Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness. 

31.  My GPS says “Estimated Arrival Time.” I see “Time to Beat.”  If I had GPS this would be true!

32.  Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.  LOL

33.  My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster. 

34. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other? 

35.  I wish it were appropriate to say to a complete stranger, “Excuse me, would you like me to show you HOW to discipline your child?”  I would SO love to do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

36. I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving.

37. Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should becalled Diet Oreos. WELL SAID!!!!

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One thought on “Thoughts I Never Wrote Down…But Someone Else Did…with a few of my own thrown in for good measure…

  1. Completely hilarious list! The MapQuest one is funny…they always direct me the long way out of my neighborhood. I guess they haven’t figured out that there’s another street that goes to the main road. They put it in about twelve years ago…

    I like #24, too (and your comment). Are you the person driving the black BMW that cut me off on the freeway this afternoon…twice? kidding. I don’t want to know 🙂

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