Gibson Goes To The Vet

Gibson is my 20 pound cat.  Gibson being 7 pounds bigger than my bichon-poodle, Jack.  And Gibson has the life we all dream of, lazy, fat and sassy, and rules the house.  Seriously, he rules. He will walk up to Jack for no reason and smack him.  Gibson will make Jack move away from the water bowl just so HE can get his drink.   He starts meowing as soon as he hears my alarm during the work week.  However, he also has his own internal alarm which matches the time on my alarm clock, so on the weekends when I want to be lazy, fat and sassy and sleep in, he starts his meow fest.  After ignoring him for a short time only, he begins to pounce on me.  Maybe pounce is not the right word.  I think “ambush” out of the ceiling is more accurate.  I swear he just attacks from the ceiling above. 

This morning was no different.  Although, as I made my way to the kitchen to feed him and make my coffee, I was plotting my revenge.  He had a vet appointment today.  *insert evil chuckle

By now you can probably figure out I have a love/hate relationship with this cat.  He is absolutely gorgeous and a wonderful pet, really, I do love him.  But he sheds to the point where I think a new kitten could appear from all the cat hair.  Brushing doesn’t help, I think it makes it worse!  Which is the part I hate.  I finally was able to break him of the habit of sleeping with me.  I felt and still do feel guilty by not letting him snuggle in bed with Jack and me but the fur on the bed was disgusting!!!!

So, today, the vet appointment went something like this:

1.  Gibson gets wrapped in a towel for the ride to the vet.  Wrapped in a towel typically keeps him calm.  I cannot put him in a crate, he totally freaks out and pee’s all over the place.  Just not worth the fight nor the urine.

2.  As we wait for the elevator in my building, he begins the very low growl.  Great, I think, its starting already. 

3.  I get him to the car, put him on the passenger seat and pray for a peaceful ride to the vet which is only about 8 minutes away.

4.  He starts the meow fest, then attempts to sneak over on my lap.  So I kept my hand on him to reassure him.  He absolutely melted my heart when he laid his little chin on my hand.  Poor guy.

5.  We arrive at the vet, I get him out of the car with no problem or events, get him into the vet and in the exam room.  Wonderful I’m thinking, so far so good. 

6.  The vet literally flew into the room which made both Gibson and I jump out of our skin!  She begins the exam.  Then I see the rectal thermometer.  UH-OH.  I’m thinking I need to get the towel and wrap him up but she had that thing plunged in him before I could react!!!  Gibs never saw it coming!!!  He flipped his tail a few times and the invading experience was done.

7.  Whew!

8.  Then comes the needle.  The vet is quick.  She says she needs to give the shot in the hip.  Great.  No towel wrap again.  He didn’t see that coming either and it was over before I knew it.

9.  Huge sigh of relief.

10.  We discuss the lion cut he will be getting and the blood work up that is needed.  And thru the entire conversation Gibson laid quietly on the exam table.  Little did I know HE was now plotting his revenge against me….. *insert evil meow

11.  I pay the bill and get the estimate for the cut.  $164, to buzz a freakin cat!!!  Are you kidding me! 

12.  I’ll buy the damn trimmers, pin him to the floor and buzz him myself thank you very much.

13.  I get him to the car.  And this is where his revenge begins.  The minute, no, that would be the second I placed him on the passenger seat and removed my hand he bolts right out of the car!!!!

14.  Lucky for me he’s fat because when I reached out for him, I grabbed a handful of that fat and he didn’t get far!  He was just under the car door so it was a stretch but I managed to drag him back my way.  I wrapped him again, snuggly, and shut the door.

15.  Cat fur all over my car now. Damn.

16.  Cat fur in my eyes.  Double damn.

17.  Meow fest begins.

18.  Gibson wiggles out of the towel and sits on my lap the rest of the way home.  Fine, whatever.

19.  I pull into my parking lot, grab the cat and sit him on the passenger seat again. 

20.  The minute, I mean second, the door opens he bolts.  Wasn’t expecting that again.

21.  I’m thinking how wonderful is this.  I just spend the morning and 60 buck at the vet for a cat that just ran away and is gonna get hit by a car.  Lucky for me he ran straight for the door to our building. 

22.  But by then I was in a panic and just ran after him.  I scoop him up and go back for that damn towel.  Start to wrap him up and the fight begins.

23.  The fat cat bolted again.  I am seriously PO’d now……

24.  Once again I grabbed a handful of fat and drug him back to me again, but he put up a good fight.  I managed to get him wrapped snuggly, tucked the 20 pounds of angry cat under my arm like a football, grabbed my bag and locked the car.  I can feel his tail slapping my ass.  I wanted to slap his too.

25.  The bastard has been napping all day.

Cheers!

Thoughts I Never Wrote Down…But Someone Else Did…with a few of my own thrown in for good measure…

 This was emailed to me today!  I had to share, and add a few of my own comments (in bold of course)!!

1.  Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.  This never happens to me, feel terrible for the other person though… LOL

 2.  I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.  Oh yea!  I’d kill for a nap in the middle of the afternoon!

3.  There is a great need for a sarcasm font.  Need I say more… (*typed with sarcasm)

 4.  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?  This is next to impossible, I fight with the fitted sheet, it wins.

5. Was learning cursive really necessary? Kinda like algebra, geometry, and trig

6.  MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5.  I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.  LMAO

7.  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.  I admit, I’m nosey!!

8.  I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.  I wake up tired…I don’t know what goes on in my sleep….

9. Bad decisions make good stories. Yea, that you can’t share with your kids!!!!

10.  You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.  Yep, and it starts on Monday morning with my first cup of coffee!

 11.  Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray?  I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.  Amen!

12.  I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.  Refer back to #10,,,Maybe I really was productive and didn’t know it???  Is that from a coffee coma??

13.”Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this……ever.   It means I will take the risk and do what it says NOT to do, just to see if I can…and then I piss myself off because I ruined a perfectly great piece of clothing!!

14.  I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Crap!), but when I immediately call back, it rings 9 times and goes to voicemail.  What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?  Yea what is this about people?  You just had the phone in your hand!!!

15.  I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day.  What a waste.  It’s a good hair day gone totally bad!!!

16. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. 

17.   I think the freezer deserves a light as well.  It would make it easier to find the ice cream!

18. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.  I have absolutely no comment…

19.  Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw.  This is more true with music for me, I always sing the wrong words.

 20.  I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bages in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.  This is why I love the elevator!!! 

21. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text. I’m guilty!!!  I’m not coordinated enough to text and drive.  Seriously, texting and driving is not safe.

22. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. Not really true for me, it’s called chocolate and wine.

 23.  How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

24.  I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.  Stay strong, brothers and sister!   Are you freaking serious?  Just let me pass!  Just kidding!!!

25.  Shirts get dirty.  Underwear gets dirty.  Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

26.  Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.  I seriously do this with my phone!!

27.  Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’ll bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!   So true!!

28. My check engine light has been on for three months now and nothing’s happened. I’m starting to think that my car is just an attention whore. 

29. I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.”  Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter? 

 30.  Sometimes I pretend not to remember details about people because having a good memory apparently equates to creepiness. 

31.  My GPS says “Estimated Arrival Time.” I see “Time to Beat.”  If I had GPS this would be true!

32.  Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.  LOL

33.  My keyboard needs a removable crumb tray like my toaster. 

34. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other? 

35.  I wish it were appropriate to say to a complete stranger, “Excuse me, would you like me to show you HOW to discipline your child?”  I would SO love to do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

36. I never understood why the Lions and Cowboys always get to play on Thanksgiving.

37. Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should becalled Diet Oreos. WELL SAID!!!!

A Haunting Memory

The first item on the agenda for my uncle and me was to hit the liquor store.  Lots of alcohol was needed, my Dad had just passed away, six months after my Mom.  Both my parents gone to massive heart attacks in a matter of months.   We were in a tremendous state of shock and grief.

One of the things my aunt and uncle and I enjoy when we get together is eat, crack a few bottles of wine and enjoy each other’s company.   Other than the pain we all shared, this was no different.  Although I think a little scotch was involved this time around.

As we sat around the house, curled on the sofa, stretched out on the floor, reminiscing about my parents, someone pointed out that we needed to put the trash and recycling out.  I grabbed my niece and headed to the garage. 

The garage housed a 1969 fully restored burgundy Ford Mustang.  It’s a beautiful car.  It belonged to my brother, who was in the midst of restoring when he died.  That’s another story.  So my Dad kept the car and brought it to its original condition.  I wasn’t completely happy about all the money he spent but I understood his need to do so.  Dad was so protective of the car too, it was his baby and his link to his lost son.  No one was allowed to touch it for fear of a dreaded fingerprint.  We were allowed to be a passenger if he so inclined but we could never drive it!  He proudly took it to car shows, it was his new hobby that brought him joy and kept him close to my brother. 

Which brings me back to my niece and I in the garage gathering the trash.  She was dragging this huge bag of trash, walking backwards while I struggled with the heaping bin of recycling.  Heaping full of wine bottles.  Just about the time I was beside the car one bottle started moving.  It rolled and fell right into the drivers side panel and shattered on the floor.  My niece stopped dead in her tracks still grasping the trash bag with this look of shock and horror screaming “AWWW!”  I sat the bin down and just stared at the huge chip in the car and just froze.  Then the crying and tears started, it was like a thunderstorm let loose.  I started crying out things like “OMG he’s gonna haunt me forever!  He’ll get me in my sleep tonight!”  Then the laughing started, terrific gut wrenching laughter, but only from me.  My niece was still standing there with the same look on her face.  She knew I was dead meat if my Dad could possibly find a way back to rip me to shreds.  And before I knew it she went running back into the house telling everyone what I just did.  The family gathering moved to the garage, maybe it was more like racing which made me cry and laugh more intently, I think they were silently praying for my safety through the rest of my earthbound life. 

I made it alive through the night.  No haunting either.  And I’m pertty sure that my Dad wasn’t mad at all but was laughing instead.  My son has the car now.  And the chip out of the side panel is still there.

Cheers!!